My heart is crying and squeezing the drops of sorrow. My tears run away and I am empty. And still my heart is hurting and breaking. 

I saw him in a pool hall. His eyes and his hardness under his pants betrayed him. He stroked himself looking at me. And those eyes.. I could never resist. I tried, but I can’t. I feel weak. I see and smell him everywhere I go. He is in my head though he is forbidden. He is in my heart even if he is an enemy. I wanted to kill him. Sincerely. But my heart screamed not to do so, so I hesitated. Hesitated too long. I throwed daggers to scare him, to hurt him, but I wasn’t aiming to kill him. Battle went hot in my heart.

I was too weak. And of course he took an advantage and pinned me against the wall. I barely remember how everything went along later. Something inside me erupted and wanted escape. But I gathered my last willpower and did what I had to do. My cold silver dagger hit his beating heart. It was beating because of me. At the same rate as mine. 

What did happen then? Nothing. He hissed in pain, he bleeded and my heart bleeded together with his. He continued to exist. I had to be disappointed, but actually I felt relief. He didn’t turn to ashes. How so? How?! 

  • You love me.

He told me in his gentle voice. His eyes were loving, full of sincere concern. He.. He told the truth. He knows me well. How could I? Enemy?! I had to know better! I feel guilty. It eats me. And what’s now? What do I do? What do I do now? There is no answer to that. And.. And that is not all.

  • We are bonded.

That’s what he told me. I am confused by his explanation.

  • Bonded…

My breath is shaky. Bonded. How did this even happen?! We bond in a bonding hall. To make a bond true we have to share the same bloodline under the spell. Or.. or we change our blood willingly when both parts are to each other truly enamored. 

My eyes widen. I saved his life by giving him my blood willingly. He gave me his blood just now, down in the hall when I bit him in the neck. He didn’t fight, didn’t refuse. Contrary, he gave me better access. We both are in love and we did it willingly. But we are from different bloodlines. What have I done?! Father, what have I done? You would hate me! I want to burst into tears, but my eyes are empty. It’s overwhelming, I need a release. My feets bring me to one place my mother loved. It always calms me down. 

  • Forgive me. I betrayed us.

I exhale heavily. Pain climbs my throat and makes it tight. I take a harp and my fingers just know what to do, how to hit strings and which ones. No time will heal my heart, but at least pain will become smaller. What have I done?

I smell moss and oaks. He is here. He found me. He always wanted only me. No matter what father negotiated. He wanted just me. Now he has got me. He touches my cheek carresly. 

HE is the Beast I was looking for. I denied it too long, but today I faced so much. I won’t be lying to me anymore. I tried to escape this thought, refuse, deny to find explanations, but the beast always was him.

I have no power to fight anymore, let myself be weak and lean against his touch. Now I know what beasts we are.

He leaves me with my thoughts. Gives me time and so needed space. That’s one of the reasons I love him more deeply. 

  • King waits for you, Lady Milly.

Lea comes and announces that my appearance is needed. I nod and head to change. She helps me. And finally I enter the throne hall. Performance is starting. We need those alliances. That is the last thing I can do for my kingdom. With this bond I can’t give birth to prolong my pure bloodline. My brother will have to find a commoner and that will make us weaker. 

Everyone gathered here. We still hold good positions, but we need to be stronger. I am greeted like a queen. My brother even adjusted my trone next to his. We show everyone that we both are equal.

Forgive me, my dare brother. You don’t know yet, but forgive me.

  • Kingdom and future!
  • Sorgedon, play along.

I whisper. He smiles, but his eyes question me.

  • I am honored tonight to greet our good friend.

I address the public and all eyes are set on me.

  • He came with a PEACE mission, so be patient.

My eyes find Eirikrinn in the crowd.

  • Please, greet Prince Cymru!

The whole hall holds breath and becomes still. Everybody is lost and starts to look for him. I stand with my bright smile and look direct at him. He narrows his eyes. He doesn’t want to be recognised. He feels danger. F*ck! I thought only about my kingdom and now I put him in the spotlight and danger.

Guests follow my gaze and their eyes find him quickly. I see a few guests taking out daggers and stalking toward him.

  • Let’s meet him properly. 

I am quickening my pace as I see some attackers not stopped under my words. F*ck! I pray, Sorgedon will play along. But he just stays silent. He is stunned because of the sudden appearance of our biggest enemy here, at our house. I may stop guards and guests under my watch, but my brother’s lion’s heart even I can’t hold on leash long.

  • Let’s test his dancing and blood drinking skills!

I try a distraction. Laugh erupts from lots of mouths. We know what we put into blood at the fests. It’s ancient herbs, strong as the drugs. We are proud of its recipe. Oh, we know well, it can be deadly for newcomers. I play with the words and the meanings. Milly, on which side are you? Black or Cymru?

Continue reading chapter 34